To (Some) Husbands on Mother's Day

Ok, yes, we've all heard the bitching, about how it's a Haaaaaallllmmmarrrrrk holiday, blah fucking blah.

Ask the average mother of young kids if she cares.

Seriosuly. The folks I usually hear bitching about it being a Hallmark holiday tend to fall into two categories. 1) The husbands and fathers that don't want to be bothered putting the slightest fucking effort into it, and will attempt to justify their lazy, careless bullshit behaviour with, "But you're not MY mother!" (more on that later) and 2) The women married to dickheads like that.

Granted, there are some folks that are anti-commercialism, that genuinely feel that way, but in my experience, it's more born out of years of disappointment than anything else.

Here's the thing: this mothering gig? It's a scary fucking business. Being responsible for the entire existence of another living person? Holy shit. And then add in there that that person is NONVERBAL for two years? And even after the two years, it's trying to translate what the poor lil bugger is attempting to tell you. The kid's looking at you like you're the dumbest ass ever, and yet HE'S the one that gets to throw the tantrum. I think parents of toddlers should be able to join in. It's fucking guesswork. If I had a dollar for everytime I've been asked, "What's wrong with the baby?" when the kid was screaming like all the Hounds of Hell were munching on his toes, I could afford a damn nanny and sleep all night, every night. I don't know why having recently utilized your uterus means that people think it comes with Vulcan mind meld powers to KNOW what's wrong with an infant, but it's fucking stupid. Stop it.

So. After carrying another human being around in her body, birthing this new person, sleep deprivation, and all the rest of the happy horseshit that folks claim as being the MIRACLE of life, spending a couple of bucks on a card, a few flowers, ordering in take out or something, really not that fucking much to ask.

In fact, of the mothers I know, who still have kids at home, you know what they want most?

A DAY OFF.

Seriously. A day to do whatever the hell she wants, without having to take care of anyone else. To sleep in, lay around reading a book, watching tv, not having to cook, clean, or change butts.

Really, not that complicated, not expensive, just takes some effort.

And, this whole, "But you're not MY mother?" bullshit? Fuck you with a rusty spork. Seriously.

If she's mothering your children, she deserves fucking respect and acknowledgement, you lazy bastard.

Get off your ass and do something to show that the effort she makes, what she does, matters.

Cause really, that's the point here. Mothering doesn't come with a pay cheque, or any of the ways that the outside world shows that they value what you do. Mothers get blamed for all sorts of shit that they actually have no control over, and often to the exclusion of anyone and everyone else.

Mothers get blamed for staying at home, and looked down on, called lazy. Mothers get blamed for going to work, and 'putting her career and money ahead of her child!" Mothers get blamed for having an only child, "how selfish!" Mothers get blamed for having many children, "How selfish!"

One day of the fucking year to acknowledge the Mother who's doing the best job she can, raising future adults, and secretly convinced that there's a serious possibility her kid may grow up and be a serial killer because she caught him giggling while stomping the shit out of ants, or worries about her daughter swinging off a pole for a living because the kid insists on being naked except for play high heels, or simply wonders how she can handle another night of walking the floors with a screaming infant on her shoulder...

One day isn't too much to ask.

Happy Mother's Day.